Alternatives to Smacking
Recently
I received a phone call from a parent who wanted to know some alternatives
to smacking as they had used
smacking as their main form of disciplining.
They had tried putting their child into his room but that was ineffective, and they were now at their wits end as they were determined not to revert to smacking again. Our discussions focussed on looking at positives in her child rather than all the negative behaviours. I asked her to describe what she liked in her child and tell me some times when he did something that was okay. It is very difficult sometimes as a parent to actually focus on the positive rather than the negative times (times when they are misbehaving). It is important to be able to do this however, and to dwell on those times and acknowledge your child during them. The more we recognise and respond to the‘good’ times, even when they might only be for a minute, the more likely they are going to be repeated.
So when children are behaving appropriately give them some acknowledgement for it and try to ignore more of the
inappropriate behaviours that you may have once responded to by either shouting at them, smacking or putting them in their room. If you notice more of the positives then the negatives like the shouting and silly behaviour to get your attention are more likely to decrease.
Here are some ideas about how you can deal with those situations instead of smacking them:
These are just some ideas – but there are plenty of other positive and effective ways of disciplining our children.
Copyright © Nelson District Kindergarten Association 2014 – not to be disseminated to organisations outside the Associations Kindergartens, Centres, and Management Contracts, unless by signed contract.
smacking as their main form of disciplining.
They had tried putting their child into his room but that was ineffective, and they were now at their wits end as they were determined not to revert to smacking again. Our discussions focussed on looking at positives in her child rather than all the negative behaviours. I asked her to describe what she liked in her child and tell me some times when he did something that was okay. It is very difficult sometimes as a parent to actually focus on the positive rather than the negative times (times when they are misbehaving). It is important to be able to do this however, and to dwell on those times and acknowledge your child during them. The more we recognise and respond to the‘good’ times, even when they might only be for a minute, the more likely they are going to be repeated.
So when children are behaving appropriately give them some acknowledgement for it and try to ignore more of the
inappropriate behaviours that you may have once responded to by either shouting at them, smacking or putting them in their room. If you notice more of the positives then the negatives like the shouting and silly behaviour to get your attention are more likely to decrease.
Here are some ideas about how you can deal with those situations instead of smacking them:
- Showing them what they can do instead of what they can’t.
- Thinking about whether they are tired or hungry and whether this may have influenced the behaviour.
- Speak softly to them and explain that it is not okay for them to act like that.
- Get down to their height as then you are less threatening.
- Walk away; think about how you are going to deal with it so you can react calmly.
These are just some ideas – but there are plenty of other positive and effective ways of disciplining our children.
Copyright © Nelson District Kindergarten Association 2014 – not to be disseminated to organisations outside the Associations Kindergartens, Centres, and Management Contracts, unless by signed contract.