I couldn't help but notice on numerous occasions on the weekend, parents out with their children enjoying the beautiful weather.  What was most startling about this was that all the parents were on their phones or a digital device while they were with their children.
One father was pushing his child on a swing with one hand, while the other hand was holding a phone which he was actively using.  The child was asking his father a question and the dad was completely ignoring him.  Then about 5 minutes later I witnessed a couple with two young preschoolers who were running along and both parents were looking at their phones.  These were only a couple of examples of the many I witnessed.
It is great to see parents out and about with their children enjoying the sun and getting them out of the house, but make that time more beneficial for the children by engaging with them as well.  I am sure that whatever is taking your attention on the phone will keep for a few hours while you are out, so you can enjoy your children.
Engage with them by talking about what they can see and are doing.  Support their play by introducing different things and different ways of doing things.  Allow them freedom to explore and most importantly, have fun with them.
A challenge is for you as the parent to put your phone down for a while, so your child can delight in your company, and you can ensure that the relationship with them remains positive.

This weekend we put our clocks back as it is the end of daylight saving so here are a few ideas to help you and your children adjust:

• keep to your regular routine of what always happens before you put your children to bed.
• keep the children up a bit later than usual so they sleep that little bit longer on Sunday morning.
• don't expect your children to stay in bed until the normal time in the morning, except that they will get up earlier, but encourage them to snuggle down for a bit longer, perhaps in your bed.
• don't allow them on devices or in front of a screen before bed as technology will prevent their mind from winding down.
• do something physical with them on Sunday to tire them out so they will be tired and wan to go to sleep early on Sunday (their usual time).

Just accept that they will wake slightly earlier​ and may be a bit grumpy/tired for a few days but be consistent and they will be fine.

I received this email during the weekend and thought rather than trying to rewrite something that will help parents explain to their children about the devastating events that happened in Christchurch on Friday it was easier to copy this message from Parenting Place. 

​Yesterday 49 people lost their lives, and as a nation we have changed. We never imagined that such an event could happen here, and we are left wondering why? How could this happen? What would drive someone to such violence? As parents, grieving the loss of innocence for our kids, how do we help them process and make sense of such a tragedy.  
 
To the families who are facing the deep sadness of loss, for those who are still waiting to hear the fate of their loved ones, for the people of Canterbury who have been through so much, and to New Zealand's Muslim community, our hearts and prayers are with you.
 
Several years ago we posted this article as a response to the numerous global events appearing on our TV screens. We never expected that it would be required for something so close to home. We hope you find it helpful as you navigate the many difficult conversations with your kids ahead.
 
Arohanui ki a koutou  

I couldn't help but ponder the importance of building resilient children while I was out biking yesterday.  Children need to know how to be strong and cope with a diverse range of situations so it is up to parents to make sure they support this learning for children.  Too often we hear of people not coping with the world around them and I can't help but wonder how resilient they are.
When a child has a minor crash - how, as parents do we deal with it?  Do we go running and pamper them with sympathy or do we let them know that they will be okay and move on?  When a child comes home telling us that they are being bullied by others, do we support them by giving them strategies to use to solve the problem or do we go running to the teacher and complain for them?
Think of how you support your child to cope in difficult situations, and is it supporting them to build resilience for the future?

It is so difficult at times to keep positive and patient with our children especially when they are winding us up, but it is important to remember to always keep positive.  When your child is misbehaving, and you feel like yelling at them, take a deep breath and think about what you want them to do instead.  Here are a couple of things you can do to stay positive instead of yelling:

• Look for the positives – have positive affirmations written up in places where you will notice them.  Things like, ‘I can deal with situations calmly.’
• Use some humor – when the children are uncontrollable, distract them with a joke or doing something silly like having a tantrum yourself.  Have a list of jokes that will make the children laugh that you can use as distractions.
• Tell your children what they can do instead of what they can’t do.  If they are fighting over a toy, then get another toy and show them how to play with it nicely.
• Ask for their help – be honest if you don’t know how to deal with them. Tell them you don’t know what to do and ask them if they have any suggestions.  This not only distracts them but also gets them problem solving.

This has been set up to support parents to access information around parenting and simple ideas that will make everyday life easier for them.  Parenting tips will be added regularly along with other information to help you as parents.  Feel free to ask questions and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
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Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents are often thought of as disciplinarians.

• They use a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible. Punishment is common. 
• Communication is mostly one way: from parent to child. Rules usually are not explained. 
• Parents with this style are typically less nurturing. 
• Expectations are high with limited flexibility. 

Children raised by these types of parents tend to be dependent, easily led, have low self-esteem and are eventually more likely to reject their parents and their values.
Permissive Parenting
Permissive or Indulgent parents mostly let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction. They are more like friends than parents.

• Their discipline style is the opposite of strict. They have limited or no rules and mostly let children figure problems out on their own.  
• Communication is open but these parents let children decide for themselves rather than giving direction.    
• Parents in this category tend to be warm and nurturing.
• Expectations are typically minimal or not set by these parents. 

These children often feel insecure and abandoned.
Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way. Some parents may make a conscious decision to parent in this way, while others are less interested in parenting or unsure of what to do.

• No particular discipline style is utilized. An uninvolved parent lets a child mostly do what he wants, probably out of a lack of information or caring.
• Communication is limited.
• This group of parents offers little nurturing.
• There are few or no expectations of children. 

Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents are reasonable and nurturing, and set high, clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children.

• Disciplinary rules are clear and the reasons behind them are explained.  
• Communication is frequent and appropriate to the child’s level of understanding.
• Authoritative parents are nurturing.
• Expectations and goals are high but stated clearly. Children may have input into goals. 

These children are secure, responsible, self-disciplined, and function with a healthy self-esteem.